


What Could Have Been

by Morgane (smilla840)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: ADA Hotch, Alternate Meeting, Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:00:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilla840/pseuds/Morgane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gideon meets Hotch when one of his cases goes to trial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Could Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> This was initially meant to be the first of a series which never got written. Maybe some day?
> 
> Warnings: non-descriptive mentions of violence, murder and child abuse.

Jason Gideon was no ordinary man. He had been part of the FBI’s BAU for the past ten years or so and had a solid reputation. In fact, he was considered to be one of the best in his field. 

No, Jason Gideon was no ordinary man. That was why he was not pacing or drumming his fingers. The man, after all, was not late. 

Yet. 

So Gideon brooded in his uncomfortable plastic chair, going over his latest case headed to trial in Washington DC. It was never easy, a trial. The psyche of the criminal mind was a complex and bizarre thing, and it was always hard to sell a profile to the jury. Especially when it was what led to the arrest and there was little physical proof to support it.

That was where experience came in. Gideon, after years in the Bureau, knew well enough how to present it. Then it was all in the prosecutor’s hands – which was why Gideon was there, waiting for the ADA in charge of the case to show up so that they could go over it together. It was a tricky one, and Gideon really hoped the man knew his job because that monster couldn’t be allowed to walk free ever again. 

He didn’t know the man, had never worked with him before, but Ryan had. He had said he was good, which was high praise coming from Ryan, and that had gone a long way towards reassuring Gideon. Still, he was uneasy, and would continue to be until he had forged his own opinion of the man.

And so he waited, the file sprawled on his knees. Footsteps on his right made him look up. He checked his watch. Right on time. The wry smile that played on the newcomer’s lips told him he had been caught.

“Special Agent Gideon?”

He nodded, getting to his feet, and the other held out his hand. “Aaron Hotchner.”

Gideon shook it, studying the man a little more closely. He was young, younger than Gideon had thought at first glance, and classically handsome. Yet there was something, something about his eyes and the way he held himself, that made him appear older.

He followed Hotchner into his office, taking in the details as he looked around briefly – heavy Criminal Law books on the shelves, a couple of degrees in frames (Georgetown, Gideon noted in passing), nothing personal though, no family pictures of any kind. From the lack of wedding ring, Gideon could safely deduce the man was married to his work. 

Storing all this in the back of his mind for later use – if need be – he turned back toward Hotchner who was observing him with mild curiosity. Another faint smile on his face told him he knew exactly what he had been doing and Gideon smiled back an apology.

“Shall we?” Hotchner gestured towards his desk, the ‘if you’re done profiling me’ ringing loud and clear between them, and Gideon found himself smiling again. It was always a pleasure to meet a worthy opponent.

They settled at the desk, Gideon spreading his file in front of him while Hotchner fished out his own along with some blank paper and pen.

“Have you worked cases like this before, Mr. Hotchner?” Gideon said, more out of curiosity than any real desire to rate the man’s experience.

Hotchner, thankfully, didn’t take umbrage in Gideon’s question. “Call me Hotch, everyone does. And yes, I have.”

He left it at that, and Gideon didn’t insist further. He could always look it up later if he was so inclined. But back to the case at hand…

“How much do you know about the Michaels case?”

Hotch flipped through the file in front of him thoughtfully, making a couple of notes on his blank page. 

“Just the outline. I was in court on another case ‘til this afternoon.”

“Went well?” Gideon asked, partly because it was the polite thing to do but mainly because he wanted to know.

“The jury ruled in our favor,” Hotch replied neutrally, still focused on the file.

Gideon raised an eyebrow at the cool answer – he would have expected more reaction out of the man. But Aaron Hotchner, he was starting to realize, was not like everybody.

“Why don’t you refresh my memory?” Hotch said, finally looking up from the file at Gideon. 

“Carl Michaels,” he started, “killed five women in a span of eighteen months in the DC area. The last three were only weeks apart and that’s when we were called in. I was assigned to the case.”

He went on, describing how the victims’ similarities – all tall redheads with green eyes in their 30s – and the way they had been killed had led him to establish a profile. How that profile and a vague description by a couple of witnesses had led them back to the husband of the first victim, Diana Michaels. Carl, the husband, had been a suspect in the early investigation, but the police had never found any proof against him.

Gideon had never been able to make him confess to the murders, but his 10-year-old daughter had witnessed him carrying the bodies out of the house. Gideon had talked with her and managed to help her overcome her terror of her father. When she had, she had told him as much.

Hotch listened intently, completely focused on Gideon. He interrupted him a couple of times, asking the right questions and demanding details. Gideon was impressed.

When Gideon ran out of things to say, he was surprised to realize it was late evening already. Not that he had any place to be – he had divorced six years ago and his apartment was decidedly empty. No, in fact, despite his earlier misgivings, he felt rather comfortable in Hotch’s presence. Which, in and of itself, was unusual, and only served to intrigue him further.

As silence settled between the two men, Hotch leaned back in his chair and rested his head against his hand, his index finger absentmindedly tapping against his temple as he studied his notes carefully, weighing their options.

“I’m not going to lie to you, it’s going to be a difficult case,” Hotch finally said. Gideon nodded. He had known that much coming in. “The evidence is circumstantial at best and all we have on our side is your profile and the girl’s testimony. I don’t have to tell you profiles don’t go a long way to convict a man – jurors have troubles with that. Any possibilities the daughter will retract her testimony with her father in the room?”

“Yes, it’s possible.”

Hotch nodded. “Alright, then we’ll have to work on that. And on your testimony, too – I know, you’re used to this -” he went on, forestalling Gideon’s protests, “- but I’m not taking any chances here.”

Gideon had agreed and they set up a date. Truth was, he was actually looking forward to seeing the other man again.

\---

They met twice more before the trial began, and Gideon had to admit he was a little fascinated by the younger man. Hotch always seemed so carefully in control of everything around him, so intent on keeping people at a distance, yet people were drawn to him anyway. He was a picture of contradictions, a strange mix of old and young, cynic and optimist. That puzzled the profiler in Gideon.

If Gideon were completely honest with himself, he would have to admit it wasn’t just curiosity that pulled him towards Aaron, but a growing attraction he had no control over. However, he was very good at ignoring things he didn’t like, and pretended it was all just admiration for Hotch’s dedication to his work.

Be that as it may, he found himself in court on the first day of the trial. His presence wasn’t required at this stage, but he had a few days off – Ryan had glared at him and told him to get out of his sight – and nothing better to do.

So he took a seat behind the prosecution’s table, nodding at Hotch, and listened to the opening speeches.

It was fascinating. While he had found Hotch intense when they had previously met, here in court he was… impressive, and completely in his element. He commanded everybody’s attention and accepted nothing less. More than once, Gideon caught the jurors nodding in answer to something he had said.

The next few days flew by. Gideon was called to testify and it went smoothly – Hotch went a long way to assure the jury that Gideon wasn’t just a FBI agent with a psychology degree and delusions of grandeur.

Then it was Jessie Michaels’ turn.

When Gideon saw her in the hallway in front of the courtroom, she looked happier than the last time he had seen her. Hotch was talking to her quietly and she was nodding, clinging to her aunt’s hand. She looked anxious, yes, but not overly much. Gideon knew Hotch had met with her extensively to prepare her for this and to reduce the level of stress the little girl would be going through when she would take the stand as much as possible. He could only hope that it would be enough.

When Hotch was done talking to her, he stood up and walked back into the courtroom while Jessie settled back against her aunt. They clearly adored each other, and Gideon was glad. This, right there, was the most rewarding part of his job.

“Is she going to be okay?” he asked, following Hotch inside. 

The profiler had startled him, Hotch having obviously thought that he was alone, and Gideon caught a haunted look in his eyes before he schooled his features back into nothingness. That brief sight into his soul was gone so fast Gideon was left thinking he had imagined it except he knew that this, right there, was another piece of the puzzle. But he had no time to investigate further, as people started to head back into the courtroom, the break over.

“Yes, she’ll be fine,” Hotch answered firmly and Gideon believed him.

 

When Jessie took the stand, Gideon watched as Hotch always stood between her and her father so that he wasn’t in her line of sight. She kept her eyes fixed on Hotch – they would slide sometimes towards the accused’s table, but Hotch would gently get her attention back on him and they would go on, and all in all she did very well.

The cross examination wasn’t quite as successful for her, Michaels’ lawyer having no qualms in giving Jessie a clear view of her father. She stuttered a little and grew more and more anxious but thankfully she didn’t back down. Gideon smiled. She was a stubborn one and Gideon could see why Hotch insisted she would be fine.

When she left the stand, Gideon looked at Hotch. The man’s face was as imperturbable as ever but Gideon could have sworn he looked proud.

\---

The day Michaels was declared guilty by a jury of his peers, Jason invited Aaron to dinner.

It was casual. They had dinner and talked mostly about work, and Gideon found that he liked having Hotch’s insight on his cases, bouncing theories back and forth. 

That dinner led to another, and another, and before he knew it it had been a couple of months and they were having dinner as often as their jobs would let them. And Jason got to know Aaron better.

The man was still something of a mystery, more relaxed than when he was at work, but not entirely so. He smiled more though and looked his age – impossibly young in Gideon’s eyes. Jason was glad to say they were friends now, not mere acquaintances, and he enjoyed Aaron’s sharp mind and wry sense of humor. It had been a long time since he had a new friend – when he thought about it, it was a long time since he had a friend period – and it was a really good feeling to have someone to talk to, and cook for.

There was still the ‘other thing’ though. The one he figured was likely to ruin it all, if not dealt with accordingly. Mainly, Jason couldn’t ignore anymore that he hadn’t felt this attracted to anyone in a long time.

So one night he kissed him. And no, that wasn’t what he had meant by ‘dealt with accordingly’, but Aaron, he had found, seemed to bring spontaneity out of him.

But in the end it turned out to be just as well, because if the heated response he got was anything to go by, Aaron felt the same way.

Everything moved faster from there. He had Aaron pinned against the wall of his living room, kissing him with more than a little desperation, because God, this was good and only now did he realize he had wanted to do this for a very long time. Then they were in his bedroom and clothes were starting to get in the way. There was nothing more natural than to get rid of them – and yes, _finally_.

Gideon hadn’t been with a man since college and the last woman he had slept with was his wife, so he went slowly. He didn’t know how long it had been for Aaron either – they seemed to share the same view on their job being their best relationship – and he didn’t ask. He found that thinking about Aaron with someone else, anyone else, was making him a little jealous.

Instead, he watched him and mapped his way around the other man’s skin. He wanted to learn everything about Aaron’s body, wanted to break his carefully built control and self-imposed barriers. He wanted to make him smile and laugh. He wanted to make him his.

Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore and Aaron was looking at him, watching him as he prepared them both. Then he thrust in and Aaron moaned, and he decided right then that he loved that sound. Soon, they were a tangle of limbs and sweat and it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. 

 

Afterwards Aaron was a little sleepy and more languid than Gideon has ever seen him. When he smiled, Gideon didn’t even try to ignore the way his heart made a little jolt inside his chest.

The next morning, he woke up to Aaron’s warm body close to his and found that it was the most at peace he could remember feeling in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at my livejournal.


End file.
